The Literature + the Development of Rebeltherapy
The foundations of this work are informed, in part, by Robert J. Ackerman's Perfect Daughters: Adult Daughters of Alcoholics. The book was significant in my own understanding and recovery as a daughter of alcoholic parents, particularly in recognising the patterns of behaviour, relationships and codependency that can develop within families affected by addiction. It offered a language through which I could begin to understand experiences that had previously been difficult to recognise or articulate.
This personal understanding subsequently informed my professional work in a residential rehabilitation centre, where I developed a six-week programme called Rebeltherapy. Structured around Erik Erikson's eight stages of psychosocial development, the programme explored the relationship between personal history, development, identity and recovery. It grew out of the recognition that addiction does not affect only the individual: family members also develop ways of adapting, relating and protecting themselves, and these patterns deserve attention in their own right.
My book, Rebeltherapy: A Therapist's Journey Through Addiction, Trauma, and Nichiren Buddhism, brings together aspects of this personal and professional journey. It reflects on the intersections between therapeutic practice, lived experience, trauma, recovery and spiritual inquiry.
These foundations continue to inform Perfect Daughters. The work is not about assigning blame or defining people through their family histories. It is about developing a deeper understanding of how those histories shape relationships, recognising the possibility of change, and exploring what recovery might mean for everyone involved.
Perfect Daughters
Understanding addiction,
family relationships
+ the rebuilding of trust
Perfect Daughters offers a space for adult daughters [and adult children in general] of alcoholic parents to explore the experiences and relationship patterns shaped by addiction. Drawing on my personal and professional experience of addiction recovery, the work recognises that addiction affects not only the person experiencing it, but also the family relationships around them.
Together, we explore the pain and perspectives of those involved, the ways in which trust has been affected, and the patterns of relating that may have developed over time. Brené Brown's BRAVING framework provides a valuable reference point for understanding trust through boundaries, reliability, accountability, confidentiality, integrity, non-judgement and generosity.
Relationships shaped by addiction can be difficult to renegotiate, even when recovery has begun. Rebuilding trust takes time, consistency and a willingness to recognise that change involves more than one person. Family members are not simply witnesses to someone else's recovery; they also have their own experiences, responses and patterns to understand.
The intention is not to assign blame or revisit the past indefinitely, but to develop greater awareness, understanding and the possibility of relating differently. Rebuilding a relationship may not be easy, but it is not necessarily impossible.
