if only...
I am sitting here and looking at one of the first notes I scribbled on the side of my The Artist Way: if > if > if > if > if > … if only… How many things do we think we need to have in place before we begin our journey? The right room, the perfect friends / agents / colleagues / mentors, the ideal connections, the reasonable amount of money that would allow us to work with no financial struggles, no children running around, an understanding husband / wife, healthy parents that we don’t need to look after interrupting our flow of creativity, a different past, a more confident smile, a stronger belief in ourselves, a degree to give us credibility, more imagination; more… different…
We seem to be never at peace. And still, last year I remember starting this journey with my blog tpw[l] and I wrote, and wrote, and wrote, every day. Relentlessly. Because writing is my go-to preferred way of expressing myself. The easy one, the one that comes first and naturally, the one I can do anywhere. I wanted to prove to myself that I am a writer and by definition, I write. Hence, the blog. Also, this blog here which evolved organically from the previous entries of The Perfect Wor[l]d and the art entries for college and my artistic path. Every blog and every week come with a little of expectations, a tad of guilt if I don’t write "enough" or I don’t take the “right pictures”. But then, I know that my own strength comes out by showing up and doing the job.
And this to me is Artistic Survival.
We can make it work if we want to make it work. Change begins with us, and only us. No amount of therapy, medication, fancy mushroom trips, shamanic journeys, nor meditation and prayer will take you to that place “where it clicks”: because everything works and nothing works. If we want to do it, if we want to write, we sit here and type even if the sun is up and shining and friends are outside having a barbeque.
It is a matter of priorities. And all are valid, don’t get me wrong!
To me, sitting here, coffee in hand and typing, after having spent a day yesterday reading the first entry on my Week 1 Reading List for University (and disagreeing with the author from page 3!) is considered bliss.
We are all on a journey. And our journey is only ours.
Happy Bank Holiday wherever you are!
If you haven’t done it yet and you would like to join me (it is never too late!), pls check my first post here and follow me on FB here for tips, hints and to share your experience.
Sending you all good vibes!
onwards + upwards ♡
mandi!
mx