• matilde tomat

: TAW wk 10 - self-protection


This is now feeling like the end. Next week is the installation and I am still feeling poorly and the recording has been a struggle. Fortunately, I have been surrounded by supportive people, who helped me in any way possible. And of this, I will be forever grateful.

Unfortunately, I haven't prayed. It just did not come. This is really something if you think that this is the week of self-protection and still most of the perils we face in our creative endeavour are spiritual: my toxic pattern is to stop praying.

Not that I have stopped believing or having my usual chat with him, but the whole morning prayer with the big red book has gone out of the window.


I am questioning the concept of Faith and if the faith I should have shown by praying is linked to the faith in this process and the faith in my abilities, and the faith I have in the final product (and its outcome).


At this very moment, I feel overwhelmed and I cling to the knowledge that I have to move forward and I cannot stop but it feels like I am swimming (or drowning?) in competition, lack, envy, and lack of care.


Again: it's not going to last long, it's going to end soon and I just have to hold on just a little bit more!


mx

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