Strength is a virtue I have mixed emotions about: people tend to tell me they find me strong and determined; I feel fragile. I often have issues with people not respecting me, and overstepping their roles and my boundaries. I think my voice is not heard and that I am invisible. Invisibility has always been one of "my things".
As of now, preparing for the final degree show, I know I need to show strength. To show courage. What did Cassavetes say? In order to catch the ball, you have to want to catch the ball; i.e. reach out to what you really want, the whole lot, all of it. As much strength and courage it takes to admit my faith, my journey, and even my doubts. It means start looking for other options, other possibilities. It means getting out and catching that ball.
Julia Cameron has an incredible and not so subtle suggestion: ask HOW and not WHY ME? I have to learn to ask what it is that I need for me to move forward: help? tools? ideas? a break?! Move always a step forward, even if small. And make sure that I remind me that I know how to sketch, draw, create, make, perform, instal, and write. If anything shouldn't go to plan, there is always another option, another possibility. Not to mention that, compared to the Me who wanted to be an artist at 20, now I have things to say. Showing up to the page, or the paper, or the cardboard is all it takes.
Every time.
Every single time.
Creativity should be spelt: creACTIVITY!
ad maiora, Matilde. Ad maiora!
mx
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