sense of an ending
This past couple of weeks have been mostly concentrated on endings. There is the ending of this college experience culminated with going to collect my materials, tools, drawings and art pieces. It meant taking down the last exhibition I had up and that no one saw since Covid arrived: Legacy (here). Is an exhibition still an exhibition if the building is locked? I have been left wondering how I would exhibit the same pieces if I had another space: what I would change, amend, move. I was left intrigued by the notion that I still feel emotionally and artistically charged by looking at some of the pieces. I can see their validity beyond me making them. Some of the writings and the whole concept of archiving still have an authority of their own, legitimised by the study and exploration that went before the actual making and sticking on a wall of a couple of boxes.
And then there is that wall: My Beautiful Mind which will be painted over. A whole work which will disappear. I am so glad I made it because it freed me. I am looking forward to many more walls in locations where I can step back and look at the whole work at once (which I couldn’t do this time due to the nature of the corridor). Still, that piece of work will be no more. And that is part of my Legacy. I have been left thinking about all the other objects and pieces and belonging I lost forever in my life, due to the earthquake, for example, or by walking out of houses, college halls, my marriage, my country. All those things I am learning to fully let go. All those connections and people I will never talk to again.
All those endings.
Strangely enough, it feels that this time I am exploring The Artist Way, I am approaching it from the other side of the coin, that shifted perspective: instead of Safety, Danger; instead of Abundance, Lack; instead of Connections, Endings. And you know what? I am happy about that.
I am reminded of the 10 of Cups, that Minor Arcana which shows the points of intersections of the Jewish Tree of Life, the ten Sephiroth, but not the paths, or the 22 Nativoth which connect them. It shows people filling that square but not really connecting. The only true and real relationship is between the old man, that beggar who is recognised after his long (metaphorical?) journey as the heroic King Odysseus he truly is, only by his dog. That card speaks of solitude in the moments of Power and how at times we really need to have the courage to let go of all the connections and attachments which weigh us down in order to move forward in our journey.
A journey which belongs only to us, and no one else.
So, on my scale of endings this week I will put the excitement and eagerness I feel for a new academic year at University starting from next month: new people, new places, new classrooms, new artworks.
Sending you all good vibes!
onwards + upwards ♡
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