priorities, anyone?!
Welcome to week 04: on Integrity.
I have always been fascinated by the concept of integrity as a value and how this is often not taken seriously. While working with people in recovery from addiction, we discussed TRUST as being at the basis of the recovery journey and I was very pleased when Brené Brown discussed the Anatomy of Trust including Integrity. You do the things you have to do, and you do them no matter what. We choose courage over comfort, we do what we think it’s right and not what’s fun, fast, and easy. Here is the link to the video of Brené at the Super Soul Sunday programme and here is the file with The Anatomy of Trust transcript of the seven elements.
Compromises just for the sake of, will not take you anywhere. As an artist, integrity is vital: not just for us deciding and then sticking on our path of creativity, but also on our style, and genre, what we want to produce, and what we want to say.
Most of the time, in our lives instead, we sit and settle for the sake of not being lonely, not feeling scared, of not taking a risk. I personally believe, even if at times this hurts, that we are all on a personal path, very specific, and we have to follow that, and nothing else. This means leaving places, things and people behind. And even beliefs.
Don’t get me wrong, I often question where is the balance between marching ahead full steam, or stopping, and holding out a hand; taking time and age into consideration; finances, too. Am I chasing just a dream? Which one is my priority?
Is writing more important than one man I have loved for such a long time?
As of now, I think I can only work and live with what I have and what I know, as a reminder to always go within and check with myself (thanx, Morning Pages) how I feel and if I am happy. If I am not, compromising is not going to help and will only frustrate me in the long run.
Today is Full Moon in Aquarius. This energy asks us to release what is old and heavy and drags us down. It asks us to be braver, to visualise our ideal future, to connect with the right people, to celebrate individuality, to forget the classic herd mentality and to work on what we are attached to. This is a very Buddhist Moon: whatever we are attached to saddens us because we are already projecting the pain of being separated one day from our desired “objects”. This Moon is asking me to stop and realise that I will survive even if the man I love will never come to me, even if I will never land that contract with a publisher I am dreaming of, even if I will always live here, in this house, in this town; even if I will never travel anymore, even if I will never write any other word, or never play the drums or never skateboard, or never have a Caramel Mac at Starbucks, or never eat again charcoal-grilled fish on a beach in Croatia.
I know I will survive, but what a fucking miserable life that would be...
So, my task is to understand where is the happy medium between dreaming, hoping, visualising, working, being determined, compromise, letting go, resigning, leaving, wanting, pretending...
For the time being, I will refer back to my Ayurvedic practice and rituals which help me stay grounded, focused and centred. If you have never heard of Ayurveda, may I suggest an entry book such as this one by Mira Manek titled "Prajna: Ayurvedic Rituals For Happiness" that you can find here.
If you haven’t done it yet and you would like to join me, pls check my first post here and follow me on FB here for tips, hints and to share your experience.
Sending you all good vibes!
onwards + upwards ♡
mandi!
mx