Updated: Aug 31, 2020
The Perfect Wor[l]d - 14
I have barely written anything today. I have done my journaling and then met a couple of friends and moreover, I worked on the prep for the FMP for college. The question I now have is: will I be able to sustain this level of writing when college starts again, and with the Final Major Project looming and the amount of work I will have to do for that? What kind of a writer am I if I cannot find the time to write 4 pages? And, even if I find the time to write another entry, will I find the words to write? Part of the FMP is actually blogging, albeit re. The Project. Or, is there a way for me to unify both projects? Writing about beauty and writing about writing. Writing about research. And how I feel about the writing. I can still link one blog - college-related - re the other one - writing-related.
I have been thinking about reportage and found the following: “Reportage is often regarded as the most exalted form of journalism, yet it is, after all, no more than writing that is concerned with the reporting of news or events”. [..] Unlike its sister art, investigative journalism […] reportage purports to simply show something, the account of which is inherent to the act of display itself. A difference between "reportage" and "reporting." If the former is a kind of narrative nonfiction — a creative enterprise which finds a bridge between language and the reality that language must describe — the latter can be said to do the opposite: to simply employ language to denote facts. In brilliant reportage, facts and feelings mingle together in mutually illuminating ways which serve to "get the meaning of events right" and in truly brilliant reportage, the "meaning" is never didactic and never ambiguous. - What Makes for Good Reportage? : 
What is it that I am doing, anyway? And why? I know that something is lingering underneath and that I have to bring into consciousness. And it is painful. I feel that somehow today is the day, the meeting later this evening will shape my future.
I am waiting. I am in a state of expectation. Almost suspended breathing...
Is there any underlying fear? Hope? Or a hidden knowledge I do not want to face now?
Where is my own status of intuitive alertness?
Buried deep down or rising to the surface?
I know that what I am writing makes no sense whatsoever to you reader, still, this is what I am writing, and this is what I am posting because this is the pact I signed. This is the agreement. To write my life as a writer, no matter what. Whether this is learning about reportage, or whether just an exercise in observing the evolution in my writing style while it happens.
Would I still consider myself a writer even if I don’t write? I was listening to the audiobook “First you write a sentence” by Joe Moran . I have been writing sentences here. Even this last one is a sentence. This one here, I am just typing and you are reading, is a sentence. A fully formed sentence.
Yes, I would still validate myself as a writer.
I validate myself.
© mtomat 2019 - written on 11.07.19 - no reproduction without permission.
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