I am finally here.
I have arrived.
I have no words to express what the journey here has been: the wind, the rain, the traffic. But Wales is always Wales, and the music was good, I wasn't in a hurry and I managed to enjoy every bend, hill, little village... and the waters I encounter! Rivers and lakes and their creative spirits.
I am a very happy woman, this evening.
I feel welcomed by the artists offering the residency and especially I felt embraced by the house overlooking the estuary: those waters! Those waters!
Dinner was warm, intimate and the conversation interesting, the way I like. Food was good and coffee was the perfect end of this evening; now a glass of wine, sitting on the floor in my livingroom, upstairs, facing east...
I am thinking.
I am pondering about the conversation I had lately about loneliness. I am thinking about my leaving today, driving all this way - the miles are catching up with me at this moment - when I closed that door. What was I missing? I do miss someone who would wish me safe journey and who will be there when I drive back. Do I miss someone with me now? No. This is part of my processing. Do I miss a phonecall from home? No. Again, this is part of my processing, this is my time. I never thought I would miss someone "there", someone back home - wherever home is - and who is awaiting for my return, while at the same time being proud and supportive of my experiencing and happily getting lost. As sweet Fiona said, we are social animals. We need people around us. I am wondering now if another year of a mature single dedicated life is what is right for me... and these next 2 weeks will definitely allow for a time and space to look at myself with the same questioning and inquisitive way this woman is having, pondering. She is almost moving. Whatever is going on within her, is greater than her, greater than us, greater than me sitting here typing away. And she knows it.
Is she my Georgia?!
Making art and making sense are going to be my prerogatives for the next 2 weeks.
If you want to know more about where I am and who I am with, you can follow these links:
Mawddach Residency on here; Jake Spicer on here; and Scarlett Rebecca on here. If you have the time and the desire, please please please: do apply! I cannot be grateful enough to Helen who pointed this opportunity to me.
As usual, onwards and upwards!
mx
piece of paper evening #1
