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  • Writer's picturematilde tomat

why the need for a car factory at all?

These past months have all be devoted to my PhD and re-assessing where my life was going. I was happy to observe that my readings, interests, direction, studies, life in general all refined, sharpened themselves and focused on one thing, and one things only: God's Algorithm, or as my supervisor likes to call it: Matilde's Algorithm.

My PhD had definitely taken a direction I am really interested and invested in, exploring the emergence of consciousness in very early human beings. Do you remember when I was telling you of that experience I had in the summer of 1989, crossing that street in Udine? Of how I envisioned a collaboration between people coming from various expertise and how we would all work together to answer that one question : why are we here? If I look back now at the idea that I had that hot afternoon, while seeing my body reflected in the window, I realized I became those people. I studied enough geology, biology, chemistry, analysis, psychology, poetry, philosophy, history, marine biology, religions, anthropology, art history, and various other theories that would help me answer that same question: why are we here? I was fortunate enough to have discovered also G Deleuze who validated my disperse, varied and rhizomatic approach to thinking and studying, which is often frowned upon. Every step, every course, every book led me to some answers and then more questions. There has always been a very specific method in what others saw as my madness in going from coaching to marketing, then psychotherapy and then art and then more art and now anthro-archeo-philosophy. And this only in the last 15 years, by the way.

I have now arrived to that amazing interlocking piece that is titled Dṛg-Dṛśya-Viveka, a tiny book packed with wisdom. A book I read and spoke about before; I explored, dived, got scared of, forgotten about it... before. One of those books that you move from one surface to the next, from one room to the other, then sits on your bedside table for months... but you can never quite put it away on a bookshelf. The whole core of the book sits on the idea of the difference between the Seer and the Seen. I am just going to leave it there. You can buy the book HERE or watch the beautiful series of videos by Swami Sarvapriyananda on YouTube that explore these concepts.

Hinduism is full of layers. Explanations and justifications and labeling of the same concept but from different viewpoints. Ātman is ātman, but also jivātman and vijñanatman depending on who is looking and what it relates to and in the end all three don't even exist, in a convoluted way. And let us not forget paramātman! This is needed to describe what I like to call as THE STATE we are in [as alive, breathing, aware sentient beings]. I am not here disputing the convolutedness of the description of THE STATE. I am querying the reason for the convolutedness of THE STATE itself. Why should life and existence be so complicated in its formation? Why do we have to be so far-removed from Essence, Consciousness, from the Origin? And, should this be only the production of our mind, why make it so complicated?! Because life always tends towards the easiest, shortest and less energy-consuming path...

The state of enlightenment during the emerge of consciousness in early H. sapiens [AI for mtomat 07 2024]

Going back to my very early human beings, who basically lived in a state of सुषुप्ति [Suṣupti or Deep Sleep] where there was no sense of I / THOU, no duality, not dichotomy between subject and object, how was it to feel everything? How was it to be suddenly bombarded by the awareness of all these interpenetrating layers of gross body, subtle body, pranamaya, manomaya, intellect, mind, ego, without being able to give them a name, an explanation; without being able to communicate all this?! I am not taking here about the enlightenment that an odd yogi has; I am thinking about just the openness to the pure potentiality of our existence [I don’t think that there are even words to describe this… THIS] that anyone has. I think that we have been trying since then, back THEN, to describe this flood of information in all possible ways, via art, philosophy, religion, war, whether it was the Kundalini descending or רוח [ruach], God's breath which gave us life. This is what we have been trying to do ever since : what is it this thing that I feel and experience and that I seem to be aware of?

It feels like we have been assembled as cars and then our tank has been filled and “someone/something” started the engine and in a split second we got an engine running, a full tank and a working GPS with all possibilities and different routes, and trips. Some people take a wrong turn, some abuse the car, some do not realize that the tank is going to run out at a certain point, some leave the engine running all the time… but it’s that moment, that turning of the key and an engine starting… from nothing to everything. MAYBE all these layers of gross, subtle, ego, intellect, consciousness are needed because we would not be able to comprehend, face, look at the reality of things. Maybe I need an engine and pistons, a starter motor, a carburetor and filters, the board and chips… because if I had to face directly a whole car-making manufacturing plant, with robots and managers, stakeholders and banks, designers, accountants and cleaning ladies… and so many copies of "myself" [!] I could not process it all. Engineering [creation] is not for everybody. Some cars, still, turn and want to see where they are coming from, and some others ask why. I understand probably the needs for so many loopholes and tricks, fog and smokescreens… but why making all of this in the first place?

Religions, politics or thinking theories are trying to make us focus just on one side of it: my car is larger, better, shiner than yours. I run more miles, I have been running on less fuel. My Jesus is better than your Jesus. All this stems out of fear, pure and simple fear of finding ourselves alone, broken-down on a road not knowing where we are, where we came from, where on earth we are going, and knowing that it could potentially be our fault... All these theories avoid the heart of the matter: we all went from nothing to everything, by the turn of a key or the push of a button. THAT process is the SAME for everyone. And it is that one single specific spark that I am interested in, not in the details of what fuel you are using or the size of your engine… THAT ONE SINGLE SPARK is what makes us ALL the same, whether we like it or not. This is why I am fighting against labeling, divisions, boxing, ghettoizing and getting lost in minute details that have nothing to do with THAT ONE SINGLE SPARK. That’s all I am interested in.

Of course, the moment that the fuel ends, the engine wears out, the car finally stops and the carcass has no life anymore. But we all had the same kind of energy / electricity in us. THE SAME ONE. The same process that makes us work, function and move. The carcass was lifeless before the spark and it is lifeless after the end of the spark. Even the beauty of the engineering behind a GPS, my radio and blue-tooth connections is nothing without that spark. You might have the bestest most amazeball phone but it the battery runs out, you have nothing. Still, the electric system that made me run is the same one that makes you, my mother, my neighbor, a cat, a fly and the ones I don't like, too… that same kind of electric impulse and power differential that energizes everything.

Which is the same energy that powers the car factory. THE SAME ENERGY.

So, if the common denominator has always been, still is and will always be"energy / electricity / that one spark" : why the need for a car factory at all?!

as usual :

onwards + upwards,


[mtomat - 02 07 2024]

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