I feel I have been working hard for what I am making. I feel I am making as much as I can in energy, time, connection, good vibe and still... still something feels off.
Again.
I have installed The Third Insight and we had the opening on FRI evening.
I am not happy.
Meaning : I am proud, extremely proud of what I made. I am proud of the what, the how, the meaning behind it, of how I felt while making it, and how I felt while I was installing it.
I am not convinced of how it looks, and if people get it the way I would like it to look. I think it needs re-working, adding. Exploring.
To be honest, I didn't know how it looked until I put it up, which is a good lesson for further work. Still, not bad at all, if I take everything into consideration. As a trial, this has been successful. Also, I don't have to forget that I am still a student. If I think about the documentary by David Eagleman I watched on Netflix the other evening on The Creative Brain, failing is part of the process.
What I am happy with, is having had the courage to push my boundaries past the shame threshold. I had some ideas, I thought that maybe, you know, I wasn't really sure, I felt that kind of niggle of fear, and that's when I decided instead to go for exactly that idea.
As for the rest, this is really the end of Year Two, or Year One at the same time, and for now, the end of The Stone.
I do have plans for the summer period, things I want to do, explore, learn, study. But for now, I need a rest.
I will be back, I promise.
In the meantime, ad maiora!
mx
© mtomat 2021 - written on 09052021 - no reproduction without permission.