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  • Writer's picturematilde tomat

the STONE : ananta swa bhava

my true self has no limits nor boundaries

I felt I only needed to go out for a walk, today. And I actually did it twice: once in the morning along the canal, and at Entwistle Reservoir in the afternoon. Then, I even forgot my phone at home. I had no means of communication (which wasn't an issue) and I could not take any photo: and THAT was a problem! I somehow felt lost without taking pictures. I was trying to remember everything I saw so that I could not forget. I had to pay attention. Guess what! I had to be... aware of what was going on. Beautiful, just beautiful! No audiobook, no music, no cheeky googling things I don't need, no messaging, no recording ideas, no taking pictures. Just being.

As usual, I did my cards on Saturday morning before driving to university. This time only two came out. It felt... arid. Not that I am not happy and the cards are just beautiful. But it is me who feels off.

AGAPE and the THREAD. 72 and 70. 142 > 7

Both cards were upright, this time. Agape, Thread. A connection to what is deep, like a chord that is played. When we respond to this tug, we remember who we are and what we came here to do, and strangely enough, when we are connected, we are actually free. During this afternoon walk, I was reminded of AGAPE, devotion, this unconditional love that is awake within me when I feel in awe and wonder; like today, with no phone. Again, I am asked to think where am I in my practice, where I place myself. When I prayed, when I used to pray, I used always to ask for something. Now, I find myself "talking to the energy", but it is about me in this world, me and the energy, me and what happens. I am wondering what would happen if I placed the Energy at the centre, the Universe...

What would it take for me to be more celebratory? More grateful (gosh, I hate this word...). Worshipping, dedicating. Sitting there, in my meditation moment not for me, not for my wellness, not to cure anxiety, or stress from assignment but... BUT... just to dedicate some minutes to something else, out there, in recognition of its existence. Thankful. I am not doing it for me, but for the Universe. In praise, awe, acknowledgement.

Today, at the reservoire, with no phone. was a good day.

But I am still waiting for the sun.

In the meantime, ad maiora!


© mtomat 2021 - written on 22032021 - no reproduction without permission.

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