I have been struggling quite a lot with reconciling God from the Christian perspective and abundance as in money and financial happiness. I don't know if this stems from my years as a Catholic and the belief that God and Spirituality are for the soul while money and things are carnal, earthly and hence inherently dirty. There are of course different facets of the idea of abundance: having plenty of time, health, imagination, creativity, space, confidence... what is it that we really want? What is it that we need? And : can we ask anything to God?
I have also noticed this dichotomy that whenever Christians pray for something tangible and they approach being borderline Law of Attraction practitioners they don't call God God anymore, but Source, Energy, Cosmic Being, ... The God of the Christians, the God of the Bible never said that we need to suffer, that we need to be poor, and that we need only to work and never have fun. God has said to look for Him first, and then everything will be given. He has asked us to knock, ask, query, follow, and yell at him if needs be. And he will answer.
He will not be there because he is already here.
He is a God that is alive, present, compassionate, and righteous. He is a God who gives. He is a Creator. As an artist myself, I love the idea that the Being I believe in is a Maker of Things. As explored in my previous post Crossing the River, my relationship with Him lacked Trust. I had to come to terms with [1] the acknowledgement of my skills and qualities and the choice of using them for His Purpose [which, besides His generic purposes, I have no idea where this is specifically going to take me. All new territory for me...]. So, acknowledging was the first step which comes with [2] the acceptance of being "good enough" for Him, too [BIG BIG MASSIVE STEP that one!]. Then I had this realisation of [3] how many times doors have been opened right in front of me which I haven't taken into any consideration due to fear, crippling excruciating fear. Now, my journey is asking me to trust Him. That if I listen to what he wants from me and act accordingly, other doors will open and I will be provided with all I need to live and thrive and do His job.
Carl Jung said that we should explore daily the Will of God. This is what I am trying to do because I have tried and tested so many different options, avenues and spiritual practices and this one, in the end, is the only one that makes sense to me. Every morning for the past almost 6 months I have sat and asked, and then stayed and listened. I am fortunate enough to have a spiritual mentor / director who keeps me grounded and who places things in perspective. If you are in Lancashire and Church of England / Christian and have questions, you might want to follow this link here.
As of now, I am interested in discerning what is my next step and having enough of what I need with added extra time and space to move freely.
I am, of course, exploring a deeper further avenue, but more in the next entry!
onwards + upwards
mx