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  • Writer's picturematilde tomat

reserv·ātiō /06


I have spent another beautiful morning in my living room reading more of If Women Rose Rooted by Sharon Blackie. There are some things that happened, concomitantly, or didn't they?

1. The MRes I just fished led me to reconnect with this phenomenological response of my body, where I realised I just re-entered my body;

2. By doing that there was a re-awakening of senses and this feeling of embodiment, of filling a space, of expanding from 2D to 3D; of finding a voice;

3. This led me to reconnect with the space around me, to my connections within and without; 4. This led to regaining a sense of femininity, not just in a sensual / sexual way [what did Rachel say about my drawing?!] but to reconnect with creativity, generativity which in turn became spiritual, pagan and ancestral and re-connected me to one of my very first spiritual experiences: that sense of freedom on the motorbike, of being a traveller and writing instead being what I do; 5. Hence here I am on this quest where who I am [i.e. a traveller connected to the earth] informs what I do; 6. This journey re-awakened memories of when I studied geophysiology at OU back in 2003 and I was so interested in earthly and otherworldly connections, Lovelock's Gaia Theory, that space where the spiritual encounters the scientific; my intense connections and cravings for water and how much this element has always been present in my life, even metaphorically [or dare I say especially metaphorically if I think about the lessons of Morrigan…].


This morning I realised I was thankful because sitting here, reading, filling my journal and writing ideas, with a coffee in one hand and meditative music in the background is my idea of a dream come true. But then this thought expanded: my heart now KNOWS about Oneness and As Above So Below, all connected to that amazing dream of being presented, on my "birthday", beads on a cushion; that same feeling I had every time I read Book of Shadows by Phyllis Curott. There is AGAIN this sense of a calling: a connection to the Land, where Gaia, spirituality, ancestry, rooting, protecting the land, water, fertility [which links so nicely to my ancestral passion of the Fertile Crescent and the Hanging Gardens of Babylon…] all of this comes right to the front, again. Accompanied by a sense of frustration because I don't know what to do about it.

But then I remembered that voice I heard so many times during the sessions with fr. Paul, my spiritual director: "write about me, write about me". Me: not a God so remote, distant and patriarchal I wouldn't know where to start; but Me as the Land, Nature, that liminal space between water and soil. The space where the encounter happens.


If Earth doesn’t have a voice, I'll give her mine.


I came here to have lunch, read and write, next to the brook. I left my phone at home and it was freeing besides not being able to take pictures. I am wondering how many people come to nature, to places or walks like this one just to think about their lives, to walk, cry, pray and hope. Not to feel lonely but connected. Nature, in the end, is the largest temple. It is a meeting of hopes, fears and faith. We ponder, we elucubrate, we beg, we learn. Every green space should be protected as a multi-faith temple, the epitome of ecumenism and interfaith. As such, it should not be desecrated, polluted, contaminated, or exploited but instead protected and venerated as a reminder of what gives us life.


So, I don't really know where to start with this, but I am sure that Mother Nature will let me know. In the meantime, I want to share with you a couple of links. You can find the STOP Ecocide International website HERE which has been driven by the ideas of Polly Higgins who came from around Loch Lomcideond [another connection with me there] and whom unfortunately we lost in 2019; and my dear friend and colleague, the photographer Diane Holt whose project WishYouWereHere enquiries also on the state of pollution of UK shores and waters.


So...

onwards + upwards > out + about

mx


________________________

Date : 7 OCT 2023

Duration : no phone - no idea

Steps: no phone - no idea

Location : Turton and Entwistle Res.

Weather : gorgeous

T : 18°




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