I am using this space as a mind-mapping > brain-dumping space for ideas so that the perfect words, that I will need to describe my next work, will appear.
At the moment I am juggling:
zoo / exhibition / exposition / voyeurism / seeing / watching / scopophilia / ethnological / human zoo / human / art / artist / glancing / aesthetic pleasure / Schaulust / looking / looked at / regard / gaze / observing / human curiosity
I'm wondering from which perspective I am looking at this project: the maker or the viewer? When you read about performance drawing, for example, most of the research is on the maker and what it means to create a piece that unites drawing and dancing, for example, and what this means for the maker. In my case, I'm interested in art-making for the sake of the reaction of the viewer! I want to know what goes on in the mind and hearts of who comes and sees my pieces, I want to know their reactions.
The act of art-making for me is extremely personal and intimate: I am not thinking about the viewer. Even if I were to make art while being seen by people, that moment of creation is mine and mine only. I believe I could compare that to a dancer or a musician: the sheer joy of creation and experiencing the creative act with all senses.
BUT, at the same time, I am curious to understand which emotions did the viewer experience? What did it move, within? Did I stir anything, any specific memory? What did you feel, exactly? Did I leave any marks in someone's life? Did my work help to heighten someone's experience? Did you understand something about yourself you weren't aware of before?
I am comparing this with the experience of being a therapist: when the client understands, when he sees, when he finally gets it. My art should be able to create the same sense of awareness in the viewer. And along with that goes the knowledge that you have played a part in it - even if you know that the awareness / understanding moment has nothing to do with you. You are there facilitating that moment, allowing for that experience to happen.
And this is ART for me. And what I hope my art-making allows.
I am not any closer to finding the words I was looking for when I started this blog, but I have defined part of my perspective by writing this. I want also to stress that the self-awareness part of the experience will be then used as a self-reflecting / growing piece; again: very intimate and personal.
I want my art to create a discourse, that's it. I want the people who come and look at what I am making, or at me while making, to then sit and have a chat about what went on for them. Knowing that, of course, those people might not want to discuss that with me. At that point, I don't know how I would feel when the realisation I do not emotionally "own" the piece anymore would hit me. Maybe the viewers are not interested in what goes on within me, the maker. And maybe they are not interested in sharing with me, the maker, what went on within them.
An intimate act separated from others' intimate acts.
tbc / while I am thinking about a title