As per my previous post re. what I created, I wanted to add some considerations re. the piece. In no particular order:
I have decided to call the whole installation LEGACY: first, it is an installation because it is very much space-informed and it was thought and planned because of that particular space; LEGACY because every sub-piece is connected with memory, what I decide to save and pass on, or disregard;
Legacy is a concept which has always been very important to me, since I have no children and also my family has passed away so I do feel a strong sense of duty towards the memory of who is not here anymore but who has been vital for me;
I notice how often I go back to memory: see CONSERVATION in May of this year… say no more; memory and honouring the people of the past;
… but also how I can now shape and move on leaving part of the past behind; I am re-visiting…
the large piece painted on the wall is titled “My Beautiful Mind” because really my mind is beautiful and all things there are things I do process, I re-visit, and this is how my mind works; Seeing my mind on a wall was mesmerising, fascinating, and I am very proud of me and my mind;
the series of boxes is titled “Plotting“: each one contains a drawing of an index card, depicting a specific day in my life, the plotted emotions over 24 hours, and a sentence which summarises that day. First ethical thought: some of the sentences are in Italian and not translated anywhere: right? wrong? I have opted for “not bothered”: this is my art and this is how I see it. If I go to see the Opera I don’t expect that to be translated, and not long ago I watched a live performance in a very strict Scottish accent I could not understand anything, for the love of God, and I was ok with it; hence: I have left it in Italian;
the piece representing the men of my life is titled “Degrees of Solitude“. Second ethical issue: shall I represent my ex-husband? What about the last partner I had who was known to some of the people at college? I had to stop and actually acknowledge the emotional waves that I was perceiving while I was creating the pieces: I did not feel much towards a couple of them, a lot of anger still for one, the hope for another one to see the piece and “how much I moved on in life after him”, a kind of “sorry but hey-ho” for another one and still a sense of guilt and “sweet reminiscing” for the ex-husband. In the end, this is my life and my art, I am not accusing anyone of anything, I am not criticising BUT I have decided to allow for some “anonymity” for the British ones re. the addresses I wrote on the cards. This means that they are not really traceable unless they come out themselves to tell everybody who they are;
The tryptic of other boxes are respectively: “Map – 02/16” and it represents the second house I lived in out of 16 I can really remember their layout; “grades of mediocricy” is titled “Grades – 1 / [x∧(1+n)]“: two reasons: 1. I could literally grade anything ∴ the power of (1+n); 2. please, no mediocrity! I have difficulties in accepting people’s and my sense of being mediocre, average, bland; pls also note that the word mediocricy does not exist: it’s a meeting of mediocrity and mediocracy (on purpose?!); “retain for future reference” contains names which have been used to call me (Matilde, mat, m., Tilly, Millie, etc) and it’s titled “Referencing – 1 / (a+b)” : again, I could list and reference many a thing in my life;
there is one last box. It contains only one word: the word: STAY. It has no title. I thought about adding something, a note, another word, a title, a label to say: untitled. I tried, it didn’t look nice, I took it off. The little box is on its own. I love that little piece. I find it delicate, almost (I would say) perfect.
The whole piece on the roll of corrugated cardboard is titled: “Sense of Kαos“. Am I making sense of chaos, or there is a sense of chaos? It’s for the viewer to decide.
I had other ideas, stuff that I could have done, marks I could have used, pieces I could have added. But I decided to leave it as it is. The space is not very large, is narrow and long. What I made and created is good for now.
After all these considerations (and more) I gave it a name and named and labelled all the pieces. And I left. And I was ok and I am still ok now. It feels like it is me, it is about me, but it does not belong to me.
I am ready for the critique, joint FAD and UNI, and to learn, get feedback, and move on. I feel I am moving on a tangent, growing. There will be other times when I will feel stuck and there will not be growth or apparent growth, but for now, I am ready to move on, make more, make another.
And yes, I am happy for this to be taken down and painted over. Weird enough, I am ok with that.
… and here is the video, shared from Instagram!
A post shared by matilde tomat (@matilde_tomat) on Dec 10, 2019 at 10:41am PST
I will report after the critique. In the meantime, I enjoy this process and the good feedback I got from other people who saw the piece and / or the videos and pictures.