TAW wk 02 : IDENTITY /c
I have spent the most of yesterday trying to make sense of some mesmerising coincidences, no: synchronicities! that happened to me on Thursday when I went to drop off a couple of copies of my book "a thousand names" in Anglesey. The area around the little Church of St Tysilio (Menai Bridge) is the most magical place in the world, to me. Vernasso (near Cividale in Italy) being its closest second.
[One day I should write about these magikal places in my life: St Tysilio’s Church on a rainy day, Vernasso when is quiet and hopes are high, Savudrija on a hot summer night, Grado when the current turns, the lake of Cavazzo on late autumn evenings, and via Pracchiuso in Udine, when you are 5 and you can still hear dad’s voice…]
I have always been fascinated by synchronicities, their meaning, how and where they direct our life, and why they happen. That since 1996 when I had my very strong energetical experience in adult life triggered by my accident in 1988. I have been reading about them since, starting from The Celestine Prophecy by James Redfield, via D. Millman, P. Coelho, D. Dyer, L. Hay and of course D. Chopra. To the ones who think that synchronicities are just mumbo-jumbo, I tell: that’s ok if this is what you think. I also studied Jung and what he had to say about synchronicities and archetypes; I have studied about storytelling, Campbell's hero’s journey and mythology. I don’t call myself an expert, but I am no novice. Besides reading the spiritual classics, I have also balanced that knowledge with studying geophysiology, ecology, biology and marine biology, oceanography and geology, natural and earth sciences at university. This to say that I think I can spot when science is used just in the wrong way to explain and justify a mysterious spiritual point, and also when it is used narrow-mindedly to shut down believers’ voices.
This to say that since 1988 and then especially since 1996, this is what has been a constant in my life, whether I was being a wife, or working in a café, a restaurant, an office or now as a psychotherapist. And this wealth of experiential knowledge backed by the study is what makes me an eclectic therapist: I couldn’t be any other way.
[You see: identity!]
All of this to say that when the Universe puts me in that place which strengthens hunches I had previous days, I am always left mesmerised and humbled but also seen. Then, the questions arise: why? What does it mean? Do I have to… go there? Do that? Do what?! Is it pointing me in a direction? Is it telling me that I should go back? That I am on the right track? Do I have to wait? Should I stay or should I go?
I have then decided to take all this to the deck. Bear in mind that when I mean deck, I mean: I will be aware of the reactions I will experience when the cards come out and THAT inner knowledge will be my direction. And then by writing in my journal, I can deepen, explore, and map out my next steps. I wanted to focus on desires and my guts were telling me to write up three. Hence, the deck. Five cards jumped out and then I noticed my reactions: I was pleased that the first cards were pointing me directly to art, work, writing and that is was time for me “to go”, to trust the path; the second desire is for Creativity and Passion and Sensuality, hinting at a part of my life which lately has been denied and still that I will always be protected as long as I leave attachment behind by rising above; and the third desire to keep on studying and developing, and keeping fascination and wonderment alive.
Still, all the cards showed me only single women, and there were no cups and no swords.
And then, I noticed the first and the last card, how they are beginning and end, looking back and looking forward, swinging and hanging, a thread from way past and that will never end. And I looked at my wrist, at that tattoo I had done in October 2017 because I decided to face the past and ink that rubbing on my inner wrist that I began doing in the night of 6 May 1976. The first step that then led me to CONSERVATION.
“I am as old as mountains” I used to repeat to myself and people did not understand and hence I stopped talking.
And that is my identity: I am as old as mountains.
And maybe that synchronicity on Thursday is just a reminder of that.
Sending you all good vibes!
onwards + upwards ♡
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