notebook entry
I am sitting on my bed [or is it in my bed?!] Coz I am still under the covers. I just finished watching the video I created last night [this morning!] for my next presentation on paleophenomenology [it rocks!] And it was seamless! I am so happy and grateful that I can use all of these programs and technology and that things work almost to perfection! I have noticed a couple of micro mistakes I might have made and hesitations but I decided to leave them in because they give this vibe more of being natural… so: I am also grateful that I do not oblige myself to be perfect! I am learning… and I like this, I am a student!
I am grateful for having the possibility today to be here, this morning, in bed, typing on a foldable keyboard, on my tablet… this is perfect! And I am so grateful for this time, really, now here: with the cats, James at my feet and Virginia in the sun somewhere… there is only the sound of the keyboard. I am warm… and I had a coffee! Coffee in bed, with no pressure… and this afternoon I will walk into town and then into college for 3 hrs of sessions with students, which means more money… which I am earning because I am actually good at my job, a job I enjoy : teaching, mentoring and expanding on paleophenomenology. Having these tutoring sessions is so valuable for me, too, coz I am learning so much from them…
So, I am grateful for the video, grateful for well, CC giving me this PAID opportunity! I am grateful for this first coffee in bed, grateful for the hours in town at college, grateful for the warmth, this silence [just me, the humming of the boiler, the sound of my keyboard and the geese outside… pure bliss!] And then I will go and have dinner with him and his friends.
Things are going pretty well, I would say. I feel he is present and I hope I am present, too… He told me / well, taught me some amazing stuff on our last day out. He followed me while I was teaching and he asked some questions I was happy to answer - cheeky, he took me and the students exactly where I needed to take them! You see, he notices things and aids me in my job… - and then a couple of students asked for more detailed archaeological questions and I turned these questions onto him and he was so… perfect! In his role. I mean, I saw him with me, in private, and with his students who know him already but seeing him so natural with these other students was beautiful and it filled my heart with warmth. We really look like a power couple. The him and her of paleophenomenology + archaeology. Moreover, the sun was out today and staying at the dig was nice: I know I seem to overuse the word : perfection, but it really was >there was no hurry, no harshness, no nervousness, no anxiety. We went, we did our job, we enjoyed doing our job, we gave and received something back that was priceless and I think that now I need another coffee just to seal the perfection of this morning, after a week of perfect outings and of being with him. There has been almost a holding of hands at a certain point. We are getting closer and closer.
Sometimes I think if I should bring the conversation up about us… but I am happily not rushing things and I am expecting him to turn around and say something like:
“d’you know us?”
“Yeah…”
“Well, what d’ya think about us, about… this?”
“Do you want me to… ‘think’ about this?”
“Naaa, thought so…”
And then we would kiss.
“So, we are… good?”
“We def are…”