notebook entry
I just came home from a lunch out with a friend. She came and pick me up, we drove into the nearest city, stopped for some shopping and then headed down to the Marina to have our lunch there. Days like this fell me with joy: I managed to do a couple of hours of work in the morning, then a shower, a bit of make up and I even wore a pair of shoes with some heels and a kirt. Company was great and we managed to talk like two girls, about past boyfriends, husbands, diets, clothes, bags and lipsticks. Exactly what we both needed, on a random Tuesday. Now I am having another coffee with my feet up. I know I can squeeze another couple of hours of work before getting my suitcase ready since I am leaving tomorrow for another field trip.
I have to reember to take my wind-up AM/FM radio with me which doubs as a battery bank for my phone, too! ALl the legal bits are done: passport, ticket, check-in, airport parking, laundry… all done and ready and there is part of me that would like to set off now, instead of having to wait till tomorrow at 4am. The most beautiful thing about this trip? That I am going to see him again! I am landing close by and I will be working for a sister university down there, but he decided to ask me if I were ok with him joining me. Of course I said yes, so he has asked for a leave and will join me on the trip. He said that he also needs a holiday so he does not want to be omnipresent while I am working and I am sure that we will work out times, meetings, excursions. And if he is allowed to join me on the digs, that would be perfect because he already knows how I work and my process and he could be the perfect buffer between me and this other institution. I know it’s not going to be tomorrow that I’ll see him, but I cannot help but thinking “tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow” and not like Macbeth…
I have been busy here in the house with work and commitments and my research so it’s not been too bad, but I have to say that I do miss him. If we are so good together this time, too, how will it be leaving him again next time?! Is this turning into a very long-distance relationship or just a “meet up and feel the warmth when you are around” kinda thing? What is it that want?
Still, I am excited for another airport, another plance, another suitcase, another adventure. Isn’t it beautiful when all seem to fit perfectly as it should be?! I seem to like more and more the humming of a plane, the suspension in the air, this liminal spaces and times in which you don’t really know where you are nor who you are… I set off as me and I land as me but I take off as Matilde the Research and I seem to land as Matilde the Adventurer and in between there is a shift. I feel toned, thinner, brighter, lighter and happier once I land… shoulders back, straight back, and firmer step. And then I land back here, in this greyness and all seem… grey and dull and bland and cold and windier.
I am looking forward to prep the suitcase, to have a shower, the last hot water bottle for a while, a cuddle with the cats and already stretching my arms to hug him. He is coming to pick me up at the airport… how will that be? Will there be hugs and a kiss? Will it be a matter of fact? Will it be “gosh, I remembered him differently…” or will I be too tired to do anything? to think straight? I am looking forward to feeling that same sense of safety I felt last time… that same sense of comfort in that restaurant, will there be banana and palm trees swaying in the wind?
To a new adventure!