notebook entry
journal entry / trying to make sense of things...
I think it was a mixture of his adventurous life and his laughter. He has a cheeky smile and he exudes knowledge and confidence in his own subject. He knows what he is interested in, he knows what he likes and dislikes. Still, he is open to conversation but then he brings it back to himself and checks in… I loved that about him. He likes football, which is something I am not keen on, but I liked that he is passionate about it, and that while he was watching a match with his mates I was free to do my own things. That was a bonus! He was very polite, from the very beginning: he is the kind of guy we would say that his mother raised him well! He opens doors, pays when we are out, offers to drive me around and checks that I have everything I need for my own research. I think that’s him regardless of his job, regardless of the job description. I liked that he checked on who I was. He was prepared and he read about me and watched some of the stuff I did. I felt safe in his car. I mean, I was in a country I had never been to before, with people I had no idea about and I felt safe. There is this aura of confidence… that made me feel safe. It seems that he foresaw possibilities of me being tired, or bright awake, or curious or wanted to be left alone, and he was ready for any eventuality, when he picked me up at the airport. Of course, the woman in me noticed clean leather boots, clean hands, a firm handshake, and a colour scheme in his clothes close to perfection: jeans and linen shirt: what’s not to like?! There was something about his wrist, when he was driving… that is a strong wrist, a wrist that knows how to grab, pull and hold a woman. I found that immediately very sexy…
We agreed to meet up the eve after and we discussed his work and my work over fish and beer. I appreciated his questions: they were to the point and he asked many questions. To some of these questions my answers were that I didn’t know, yet. I explained to him how I work, that mine is a very subjective self-reflective practice so I am always listening to questions and then I go back and reflect and journal and ponder and write and dream until something SOLID pops up. I was wondering if he really understood but then I saw him take out his journal so I think he actually perfectly knew my point! So, we compared journals, and paper and pencils and pens… and then we talked about bags and backpacks and gear and this is how we spent the evening, which was good. He asked me if I had someone back home, as in what’s my life back in the UK and I was honest: no one. I did not ask him the same though, and I am wondering why…
The first time we went out on a dig, I immediately noticed that his working car is clean and his gear is neat and clean and properly put away: he cares! Here is someone who cares about his tools! And I just looked and absorbed and “noticed I noticed”… it felt we were measuring ourselves the whole day… checking on each other but at the same time, allowing us to do our work. I reminded myself why I was there: to explore these new drawings and marks and I did not want to go back home feeling I missed something so I made myself concentrate on the job… but I also told myself that if I needed more time to stay there, I would have taken more time, I would have stayed longer. I know that when I work I need time to “get into the zone” and normally right after a flight and new people, new situations, new locations and new climate and food, it takes me a bit to get into my research mode but this adapting time is the best for me, coz it gives me time to fully get the place, fully enter into the location, fully immerse myself in the vibe and energy of the place because I know that my work cannot be rushed. And I felt that he understood that. He allowed my inner pindaric flights, he was silent, observing my process, ready with pen, paper, water, coke, anything I needed after. But he let me be me. He observed me and I think he was… ecstatic?! I noticed a whole new methodology at play and he only had questions for me, over dinner. He took me out for meals even with other students and colleagues, and i felt he was proud of me, of my work. And that we could work together.
As Shiva and Shakti. Him with a machete and me touching rocks with my eyes closed…